Monday, April 20, 2009

Only a Go-Go Girl in Love

'But as she walks,
she waits for him the pavement is a shoulder for her tears
But in her heart she knows there is no way
She can hope to change him.'

'Only a go-go girl in love
with someone who didn't care'
~ excerpt from Go-Go Round by Gordan Lightfoot

'Bum. sigh. One year ago I told him I was done. I told him what had to happen in order to keep our life together. As of today, He has done none of it. So I give myself a stern talking to I say "Celia Anne you deserve better than this. There is someone out there who will pull their own weight in the house. Who will actually hear what you are saying. Who won't make you feel bad about yourself. Why are you still here?"

To which I reply,"12 years is a long time to throw away. As a couple we still have heat. I can't keep my hands off. I still want him. But I want the him I married; not the him who walks through the door every night."

SO now what? I am clearly not ready to walk away. Even if my head keeps telling me that is where we are headed. Ugh! Libra, make up your damn mind and stick with it! You are doing more harm than good going back and forth and he isn't going to change 'cause you have already proven you won't leave if he doesn't.