Monday, December 29, 2008

My Recent Obsession.

I bought myself this yarn mostly cause I liked the name of the colorway. Shallow? Me? Never. When the yarn arrived at my doorstep, I innocently opened it and what to my wondrous eyes did appear?(see what I did there?) This! Isn't it just lovely. Woe Cake is by Dizzy Blonde Designs and is part of her signature collection. Her regular line of yarn is all named after famous blondes. But I digress.

So I laid eyes upon this yarn. Then I touched it. I thought about how it reminded me of how KCMO looks towards the end of fall. You know the leaves are mostly shades from red to pink and the grass is kind of tan color? Just breezy and cold. Almost immediately a pattern came to mind of fingerless mitts with a open work leaves running down them. I was swamped under with obligations at the time. So I had to set it aside.

It was all well and good until it got cold...Then it wouldn't leave me alone. I dreamed about the pattern. I searched the web to see if anybody had made them. This yarn and the pattern were always on my mind. The obsession was not as bad as it was going to get.

Finally I was able to work up a swatch! From working the swatch to weaving the end~2 days. That's right. 2 days! I couldn't think about anything else. I barely fed Mini-me and the Dogglet. Sad, huh? Anyhoo! Here is the finished product. What do you think? Pretty? I think so. The best part is it used less than half of the skein. So I can have some footies from it! Hopefully, I will fall equally in love with the next colorway I get from her. 'Cuz there will be more. Oh yes, there will be more. I am going to get it test knitted by someone else. then I will publish!
UPDATE: The test knitting went really well! My Testers loved it and there was just a few things to adjust. So it is up for sale at $5.00 USD.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

YAY...Cookie Time!

Today we did my favorite family tradition, the women of my family get together and bake cookies. The oldest woman present is always head chef. Ever since I can remember we have done this. For the longest time it was Aughra as Head Baker, Mama-san and me. Before that my Great-Grandma was the Head of the Bakers. Mama-san, myself and Mini-me got together to bake today.

When I was little, we would spend 2 or 3 weekends baking. Starting before Thanksgiving to be able to get 10-12 dozen of 20 or so different types of cookies. Some were super simple and fast. Some where labor intensive and slow. We would have Aughra's spare bed covered with cookies. This was our big family gift. We would make gingerbread men for me to take to school for my class. We would have tins of cookies for every person we came in regular contact with during a month. The mail person, school bus driver, my Teacher, the neighbors , everyone. For the big gift, it would be a large tray of cookies to Aughra's work, Mama-san's work and for me to take to Papa-san's family.

As I got older we scaled back a bit. Finally Aughra got too sick to bake and now needs so much of Mama-san's time. We now just bake for ourselves. However, both Mama-san and Me speak wistfully of a time in the near future when we will bake like mad people again.

Usually we start earlier in the holiday season, so that we can bake for the One Good Meal,a local charity, bake sale also. This year it has been hard to get together. I was sick for about 2 months. During that time Aughra decided to announce that God had told her she could die now. Which understandably upset Mama-san. Sigh. SO we got a very late start this year.

What I love about this particular tradition is the sense of female companionship. This is our No-Boys-Allowed time. The chance to discuss life. The undivided female attention. (Mini-me was so excited this year to read a story to Mama-san. Showing off her newly acquired reading skills. Big words and everything.Very Cool.) The teaching of where this or that cookie recipe came from. The showing of how to fill the cookie divot with just enough jam. Or how tell if the cookies are done. The picking on each other when we mess up the cookie recipe we know by heart and have made a bazillion times. The laughter and joy we bring each other. The annoyance and pain. In all an exhausting wonderful time. YAY! Cookie time!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Updates!

I just updated some stuff on my blog. There is some new stuff to behold. One Of my Favorite people just opened her OLYS Little Freaks Yarn. Check out the link down in my yarn candy. Also I have added a link to my new ArtFire Shop. The shelves are a little sparse. I am still adding stuff to it. And have I mentioned how much Ravelry rocks recently? No? Well let me tell you Casey And Frecklegirl are awesome. They gave me linkys to my patterns. So now there are cool links to PDFs of my stuff.

December is super busy as you all know so that is all for now!

Friday, November 28, 2008

Sup?


Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is fast approaching. My needles are smoking from the effort to get my Christmas knitting done. I am really making pretty good progress. We had a lovely Craft sale last weekend. I meet some really great people. And got a job offer. Yep! You heard right I have been offer a teaching position with Metro Community College here in the KC area. I am So excited! I loved teaching knitting before and am ready to get back to it. So for the spring class schedule 'Beginner's Knitting I - Felted bag' will be taught by myself. The classes will be held out on the old military base in Belton.

Let's see any things else worth mentioning. I am still sick(?). I have this cough that will not go away. I am on almost a full month of it now. So sometimes I have a voice sometimes I don't, but I am not sick enough to justify a doctor's visit. So I just keep trying to wait it out. Blegh!

Oooo! I receive something of great value to me. I am the proud owner of a baby sweater Aughra knitted for my uncle. this sweater is srsly close to 60 years old. After I get it cleaned up and reblocked I will share. I also got to copy a pattern for the Most wonderful handmade stocking. I grew-up wanting this stocking for my own. I will probably not get it done this year but next year I will have it. After Christmas I will post pics of all my Christmas projects. I can't post them as they are finished because their soon to be owners frequent this blog. 'k. That is all for now.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

How Long?

How long?
How long am I to be understanding?
How long am I to be the only one worried about the future?
How long am I to be the only one parenting?
How long am I to be the only one deal with the bad?

How long should I put me behind them?
How long should I stay in a house that is not good for my daughter or me?
How long should I ignore that the XBox is more important than me?
How long should I believe that my child & myself are wanted?

How long do I keep my promises when they don't keep theirs?
How long do I hold on while the other person seems to let go?
How long do I believe them when they say thing will get better?
How long do I keep pretending?


How long is too long?
How long is too soon?

To my peeps ~just so you know we all have these questions sometimes.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Double Standards

I has some. Meet Aughra. This is how I see her, hence the name. She is the Matriarch on my mother's side. She started a charity in her hometown. She can be the most charming person in the world unless you are a female related to her, then she picks you part constantly. Today I yelled at Aughra. She started in on Mini-me... 'How I should beat her more often'; 'How she has no manners'; 'How she doesn't even know the difference between a tomato and a potato'. ( note Mini-me does know the difference. She was really sick as a baby and has a speech prob. The names sound the same to her, so she uses then interchangeably) As I sat there listening to her tear apart my Mama-san, myself and my daughter, I realized that I have a complete double standard when it comes to her. She says things that I would jump down someone else's throat about. I wonder why? Is it because my Mama-san asked me not to start something with Aughra? Maybe. Little. Is it cause I still get a little scared of what will happen if I yell at her? I think that is a lot of it. She likes to withhold affection if you don't toe the line. Aughra likes to dangle something in front of you. 'Here. See this? This is how much I love you. When I die you will get it. I have hung on to it your whole life just for you.' Then when your opinion is different than hers, she snatches it away. When I was 8-9, she gave me this dress to wear. I hated it. wouldn't wear it. We had a big fight. Didn't talk to each other for probably 10 years.

Aughra is tough woman. She's had a hard life. Very hard. It has made her a hard woman. She assumes anyone she loves is out to screw her. This is what her life experiences have taught her. She is in the process of dying now. It is a painful ugly death. Slowly drowning. So my conundrum is this... I know she loves us all of us. I know she cannot express it the way most people do. Do I ignore her behavior and do clean up with my daughter afterward? Is this the way I want my daughter to remember the woman that most of Aughra's hometown thinks is a saint? 'Cuz bucking the system means fighting with my Mama-san too. Do I want to go there? I know that my Mama-san will side with Aughra she has to. Aughra will hurt her in ways that can't be forgiven, if she sides with me. So then what? I have heard that I am just as hard as Aughra. Am I really that ugly and hard to people? See, Opening this can of worms means hearing that over and over again. This is depressing. I think I'll pull a Scarlet and think about it tomorrow.

Monday, October 27, 2008

THE GREATEST SOCCER PLAYER in my Life

I promised pictures of my Soccer Star. Here they are. This photos are mainly from the game when she was in the goalie position. She really seems to enjoy soccer. I admire her so for being athletic. I am so not. I can't run across a flat paved surface without falling down and really messing up my arm but this is about her. Last spring she played indoor soccer and was thrilled with goalie. This time her team was too good and the goalie never had much to do. So it was super boring. Even with all that talent and skill, her team didn't have a winning season. The other teams were just too good. but that's fine she had great fun and they gave her a throphy at the end. As I think all females will agree, a lot of bad can be erased with something shiny. So Ends soccer until spring? Maybe? Sigh. Girl Scout Cookies anyone?

Monday, October 20, 2008

Gibberish

First I would like to say... DOG BUTT!

Isn't that a cute dog butt? The rest of the dog is cute too. But the getting on the couch and then leaning down to look out the window cracks me up! To those of you who may not have met Mr. Samson. He says 'Oh, Hi.' snort! I just woke him up in this picture. He is really more Samson after meeting Delilah. He is a rescue pup and has the scars to prove it. When we got him he was bald. Seriously. And they had him on all kinds of meds. As you can see he has been to CeliaAnne's hair club for dogs.

So updates...Let's see. Oh! the really important one my Mama-san is fine. Apparently her pieces parts are shaped really weird, but they all work fine and have no ickiness. YAY! Mini-me had her last soccer game this week. She got a trophy and everything. So I am no longer a soccer mom(a least until next season). I will post homage to my favorite soccer player soon. Also She had decided the she really needs some earrings. So next weekend I am taking my 8 yr old to get holes put in her head. I have finished my Rainyday Socks. I must say I am not a big fan of the bamboo yarn for socks. It is not as comfy as wool ones. However, I love the colors of them. I am trying to get the last of the three Hallowigs done for my Mama-san to take up to the cancer unit. I also can hear the clock ticking on my promised special olympic scarves for Yogini and Christmas time, she is a comin'. sigh. And a much ancipated Xbox game drops this week. Fable II. I loved Fable soo much. I must have started it over 6 or 7 times. Love! I say. But financial outlooks are low. So I will have to be a growed-up and wait. Being a growed-up sucks.

The 'Bum and I are holding even after the nuclear explosion earlier in the week. We are kind of in a armed-standoff until we talk to Dr. Feelgood this week. He is pretending everything is coming up roses. I am trying really hard to stay put. I am really am cut and run kind of person. If things get to hard, I feel the need to run away. I've had exactly 4 boyfriends, in my entire life, that lasted over 2 weeks. I married 2 of them. Staying power? I ain't got some. That's not really right. I didn't use to have some. I have been married 11 years to this one.

My Birthday was last week. 33 years on the planet. My Mama-san celebrated the whole week long. I got something from her everyday last week! I got all kind of wondrous goodies from everybody. On my actual birthday, My Papa-san and the Italian Goddess took me and Mini-me out to dinner. All in all a winner of a B-day.

My Etsy shop is up and running. I have add a link to my blog. I will be adding some of my Mama-san's designs also. So check it out. Oh. I have to take down the free Knitted wire bracelet pattern. Someone has been looking on my Etsy Shop a duplicating my designs. Which is pretty hard to do 'cuz I can't even make the same one twice. This is my 'I CAN SEE YOU!' to the big thief. Now I know this probably won't stop this person, but I did clearly state that it was for personal use only and if the items remain on the Internet, then I will be looking into further options. Is there anything else? Nope. I think I'm done for now. I have always heard you should leave on a high note, so here is the best toy ever or so he tells me.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

PISSED! (warning not for everyone)


I'm Pissed! Not the euro pissed as in drunk. The US pissed as in postal. Today I come home from putting in extra hours to pay bills. Zombie Boy and Mini-me are watching cartoons. Neither say HI. Neither acknowledge that I have even entered the house. So I ask Mini-me if she had done her homework.(assuming she had 'cuz it is over an hour since she had gotten out of school. 'No, Daddy said she could watch cartoons and eat cookies first.' sigh. I told Mini-me to quit playin' her dad, get in her room and do her homework. I told both of them that they knew better, homework before TV. Mini-me starts the 'its too hard', 'I don't understand' whine which for her translates into 'I don't wanna do my homework. You come do it for me.' Well Angry Guy shows-up. He starts telling Mini-me to quit acting stupid. And as she gets more upset he gets louder. Then is like 'Fine! Cry!' The whole time I have been trying to be calm and calm down Angry Guy. SO not working. Then he made her cry. MY HER!

That was it! Gloves are off! I told him he is doing exactly the same shit to Mini-me that was done to him and I AM NOT HAVING IT! I will be GOD DAMMED if he is going to damage my child. So we had an ugly conversation. I was not kind.

Backround:
Lately, if I try to talk to him about my feelings on what is going on...'Bum is all 'I am only doing this to keep you' implying that if I leave him, he will stop counseling. So ever so gently I point out that he needs to stop worrying about what I am doing and start worrying about getting well for his daughter. HE then tells me I am trying to control him by threatening divorce. First of all I would like to point out I never threaten anyone. I state my position on a situation so that everyone knows where they stand. Today, during the Angry Guy triad, I had an epiphany! The Son of A Bitch was controlling me by saying I was behaving like his mother.

Back to the fight:
After I slapped him down(figuratively speaking), he stomped off to our room to pout. Such the wrong move. 'Cuz I stew. My Papa-san says it is the German in me, but what ever the reason the longer I think about something the madder I get. So when pouty boy reemerged we had us a little pow-wow. I told him that I am sick in tired of him trying to make me think I am the crazy one. I am done with the way he behaves toward my daughter. And he had better start doing what the fucking Counselor says. He cannot hinge his mental health on me. I can barely keep myself sober and a good parent I cannot carry his ass around also. I know my limits.

He counters with Dr. Feelgood wants him to cry and to get angry. And he doesn't want to. My response? TOO FUCKING BAD. Man up, Damn it! If not feeling those feeling is what broke you in the first place, than continuing to ignore them will not help you heal. So now he is tearing up 'cuz I iz a unfeeling bitch. I asked him who are we going to listen to the diagnosed crazy guy who barely finished high school or the Dr. who is working on her master degree in this? mmm... Gosh I don't know. Which should we choose? Bah! Just typing it out is making me mad again. What right has He got to decide not to follow through with treatment? Damn it!!!! I chose good this time. He had a good job. He paid his bills. He thought I was a princess. Everything was pretty good. We fought but everybody fights. Then I became a mommy and he lost his fool mind. WHY ME!?!?!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Felting...How to?

So I mentioned that I was going to felt myself a tea cozy using my 1 Fish, 2 fish charts. Right? I know very little about designing felted projects but I am willing to learn..off a researching I will go! I googled 'designing felted projects'. WOW! there is a wealth of people selling their felted projects. But what I was really after was how big you should knit something before you felt it down. That info was a little harder to find. But I found it! Knitted to felted pieces generally shrink 20-25% width wise and between 40-50% lengthwise Depending on the type of wool used. Everybody strongly suggests swatching. Man. I hate swatching. But I guess I will do so. I think I have decided to use worsted weight Wool of the Andes Now I have to ponder the amount of yarn to order for this project...

Monday, October 6, 2008

My 1st for sale pattern!


See this beautiful sweater? Well, I didn't design it. Someone else did. The lovely color working? that is all me. I originally designed these charts for my red-headed friend, currently trying to get her bath remodeled wink, she adores the poem Winkin', Blinkin', & Nod. However, The Amazon beat her to the punch and wanted it really bad for her soon to be little baby Amazon. Since I let her pick what she wanted, I made it for her. The Amazon & I have a difference of opinion on the colors babies should be dressed in. Sigh. The pale bits are all her. The lime green sail and red fishes, that would be my design. As soon as Her Red-headedness gets around to spawning, I will make another in the colors I originally pictured. Until such a time as we are all graced with the presence of mini-redheads, I will sell these charts. In fact for a measly $1.00 USD you to can own them! They are available in my Ravelry store. If you would like these charts and have no wish to be apart of Ravelry, then you nuts! Kidding. Just leave me a note. Here is the lovely poem of inspiration...

Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod

Winken, Blinken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe --
Sailed off on a river of crystal light,
Into a sea of dew.

"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring fish
That live in the beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we!"
Said Winken, Blinken, and Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe,
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew.

The little stars were the herring fish
That lived in the beautiful sea --
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish --
Never afeard are we";
So cried the stars to the fisherman three:
Winken, Blinken, and Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam --
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe
Bringing the fisherman home;

'Twas all so pretty a sail it seemed
As if it could not be,
And some folks thought 'twas a dream they'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea --
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Winken, Blinken, and Nod.

Winken and Blinken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoes that sailed the skies
Is the wee one's trundle-bed.

So shut your eyes while mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fisherman three:
Winken, Blinken, and Nod.

poem by Eugene Field

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Something Fishy


I am the new proud proprietor of an Ravelry Store. YAY! I have spent the past few days pouring through my three-ring binder of many ideas and projects. I have posted some for FREE. Mostly just color work charts. Digging amongst all of my favorites I found one of my 1st charts. Strangely enough it is still a really good chart, to my thinking. You would think you could really improve on one of you 1st efforts, won't you? Simple yet fun. The picture of the finished product has long since disappeared or I would post it to share.

So, I ponder. I would really like to share these charts with others. How? I could make up samples of them? I hate working on something and having nothing usable at the end. OOO! I could make a purse! A 1 Fish, 2 fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish Purse. Hmm... I can see problems with that. I could felt it. But my felting skills are still at the neophyte level. I know I will make a tea cozy! I need one and it is a fairly small project to felt . We have a winner! Look forward to seeing a marvy felted fishy teapot! The charts are published! I just added a Download Link.
DOWNLOAD NOW!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Weezy Doll Revisited.

I promised a couple of knitters to work up the pattern for Weezy. So I revised my notes on this delightful labor of Love for Mini-me. Guess what? I will totally have to rework her. I cannot make heads or tails of my notes. Sigh. Well, that's okay I have some new ideas regarding construction. Can you hear my maniacal laughter? It is there I promise. I must but off to finish my 2nd sock of the Rain Day socks I am working on. I am in danger of catching 2nd sock syndrome.  Every day that passes makes it just that much harder to pick the needles up.

Mama-san is having some health 'troubles' these days. They concern me. Not in the freak-out 'Oh Noes! my mommy sick! How will I survive?!?!?!' way. But in the 'What is the next step?' way. I am a planner. I like to know what is going on pretty far out so that I can plan. I get a little twitchy when things are up in the air. Down right mean sometimes. My Mama-san is a go with the flow type of person. very in the now.

She doesn't want to discuss the 'troubles'.  She will wait until she is forced to confront them. I, however, want to know what is going on right now!!!!!! I need time to look it up on the internet, to plan just exactly what I need to do to help her get through all of it. Pushing the issue is not helping though. So I sit and twitch and try not to push her around about it. So there it is in a nutshell. Blah!

Miser's Purse

Miser_purse.2 Well, Party people, I have completed the miser's purse. I even completed it before the Ravelympics began. I haven't had a chance to post it before. I decided to share my charts for the Miser's Purse aka Partial Worm Poo Purse. However, I am only going to post them on Ravelry. If you are not on Ravelry, GET THERE! Just kidding. Contact me and I'll send the PDF of the color working. I am not including the pattern 'cuz there is a bazillion of them and I based mine off of other person's pattern. Really just picture's the gauge are completely different. But Whatev' That's all for now! DOWNLOAD NOW!

Monday, September 29, 2008

The 3 faces of 'Bum

So many people know something has been up in the CeliaAnne Knits household and himself has finally given me permission to discuss this with MY family and friends.(We will get back to the reason for the 'MY' in the last sentence.) In the Spring of this year, I told my 'bum I was out. Done. After 10 years I was ready to leave. Which completely blindsided him and that fact flabbergasted me.

How could he have missed how unhappy his wife-y and daughter were? Was he just not seeing it? We talked it over and over and over. I decided that, if he was willing go to marriage counseling, I was willing to try to work it out. So we go and we talk to the very nice Dr. Feelgood. The following takes place over 3-4 visits.

Dr. Feelgood asks I what is going on. I tell my side of our issues. I tell her feel like the only grown-up. That I have to be aware of what mini-me is doing and what my 30+ 'son' is up to. I have to play referee between the two of them all the time. The dog even ignores him. I am the only person concerned about paying bills and cleaning the house. That's not true. Mini-me is always offering her piggy bank to help me pay a bill and always trying to help me clean the house. And then I admit to being a difficult person to live with. I am not patient with adults as a rule. 'Bum? he sits there. Says nothing. Acts like he doesn't even realize he is in the room with us.

Dr. Feelgood gets his attention after a couple of tries and asks him what he was thinking. He says he doesn't know. She asks him why he does these things he says he doesn't know. She asks him why he is so angry all the time. He says he thinks It is because he has a chemical imbalance. She sniffs. Dr.Feelgood asks 'Bum to talk about his childhood. So he talks. During this time, I mostly listen. Sometimes I interject something that the in-laws had shared with me. Hearing his childhood from his point of view made me really sad for lil'Bum. Kids don't see things the same way adults do. If adults don't explain things to children, children come-up with their own explanations and they hold them close as solid truths.

After about 2 sessions of this is 'Bum's life, Dr. Feelgood drops the bomb. 'Bum has a physiological disorder, Dissociative Identity. Think Sybil, but not that bad. Mini-me and I had actually come up with names (pre-diagnosis) for the different faces 'bum has. Which I thought was interesting when I looked up info on this disorder. This info understandably scared 'Bum. I am going to take a moment to describe each facet of 'Bum. Those have meet him in real life may recognized them.

There is Angry Guy. He is mad at the world. If you won't just give it to him he will take it. Don't look at him the wrong way or it is on. You don't actually have to do anything to Angry Guy. Angry Guy is the reason my family thinks that 'Bum might become abusive. He has never been physically abusive. Mentally? Guess so. I am not sure. Dr. Feelgood says 'yes'. CeliaAnne says 'neh, could go either way. Nobody is perfect.' Mini-me didn't get a vote, but she had been have nightmares about her daddy when I decided enough was enough.

The next side of 'Bum is Zombie Boy. Zombie Boy cannot walk past the TV without being caught under its spell. Zombie Boy is the one who puts the XBox before his daughter and wife. Zombie Boy is the one who checks out when you are talking to 'Bum.

And then there's Daddy. Daddy is the one who plays with Mini-me. Daddy takes Mini-me sledding. Daddy volunteers at Mini-me's school library. We like Daddy man. He is a great human being.

Back to Dr. Feelgood. She said that there was no point in working on our marriage when we never really knew who we were talking to. In fact when 'Bum said he didn't know why he did something, really didn't. He probably wasn't the one that did it. Dr. Feelgood said something happened to lil'Bum that was so bad, he couldn't deal. His lil'mind broke instead. Dr. Feelgood said that I didn't need to come anymore. 'Bum asked me to continue to come. He didn't want to do this alone.

WOW! All I can say about this next couple of sessions is Angry Guy has a lot of RAGE toward his parents. A LOT. Dr. Feelgood and 'Bum finally started to get to the meat of his problems. Then 'Bum asked me to stop coming. He was afraid for me to know about whatever it was that broke him. I still don't know what that was. Frankly, judging by what he did share with me and what I know from the in-laws, I am almost 100% sure I don't wanna know.

Dr. Feelgood and himself decided to cut all contact with his parents. I personally think this is wrong. However, 'Bum and Dr. Feelgood both believe that him talking about this to his parent would end really badly. (yes, bossy nosey me called Dr. Feelgood and made her explain herself. OK, 'Bum told her to talk to me about this.) 'Bum actually told me to call the police if either of them showed up at the house. He gave me the impression that he expected violence. My question is what the hell happened to him? And then I remind myself that if he ever starts talking to his parents again, I would probably not be able to be nice to them if it was their fault. It is a Pandora's box, once I hear it I won't be able to forget it. As it sits now...No contact with his family, his choice I know but I still think they deserve to at least know where this is coming from. And now he has decided to stop going. He tells me he just needs to make an appointment and has needed to for about a month. Things are slowly shifting back to the way the were in the Spring of this year. So here I sit trying to keep it all together. And convince my broken 'Bum to get help. 'Cuz if he doesn't .. I don't don't like to things threaten. I just do what I say I'm going to do. I told him that I will protect our daughter even from him if I have to.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Scarey Attack Celia

I was just reading a thread on Ravelry today. And In they were discussing one of those name generator scripts for Sarah Palin . I went on typed in my full name and Learned that if Sarah had been my mom, my name would've been Seam Marauder Palin. I think 'funny. Then a few posts later someone post a pirate name quiz. So I took the quiz. Yea! Fun! Silly Names! My pirate name? Bloody Bess Bonney.

eep. Bloody? Marauder?

What are the mystic power of the universe trying to tell me?
Am I that violent?
Should People be afraid?
Very Afraid?
Mwaaaahahah!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Woe Sheet Cake Recipe

Flaming_H_woe_cake.2

The top example is Snarky cake with Flaming Hypocrisy Icing. To make your own tasty cake, you will need worsted weight & bulky weight yarn in flavors of your choice; You will need foam in a cube shape for stuffing. This one is 3 in. square. All the numbers given in the pattern are for this size but this pattern is easily adaptable to any size.


Needles: US 4

Gauge: 5 sts / 1”

Bottom:make 1
Finished Size X gauge = CO
3” X 5 sts = 15 sts

With main cake color CO 15 sts. Work in st st until piece measures 3”
square. BO

Side:make 1
Finished size X 4 = Length
3” X 4 = 12”

With main cake color CO 15 sts. Work first 6 sts in st sts, work next 3 sts in
moss st, and finish the row in st sts. Continue in this manner until piece
measures 12 in. BO

Icing:Make 1
Use the same number of Sts Cast on as the bottom. Due the nature of the yarn
this will actually make a slightly bigger side. Work until the measures
square. BO

Block all pieces. Add face and that rosey glow from too many tears. With right-sides facing, seam the long side of the Side to bottom along the edge; making a box. Seam the CO edge and the BO edge together. Turn right side out. Stuff with foam. Sew on the Icing. And serve! Would you like it as a PDF? Ok! DOWNLOAD NOW!

The pattern is provided for personal use only. Designer does not give permission to use this pattern for profit.

Knitted Wire Bracelet

UNFORTUNATELY SOMEONE HAS DECIDED TO START SELLING THESE. SO I AM TAKING DOWN THE FREE PATTERN. However, I will sell this pattern for $2.00 USD. You can find the link at the bottom of this post.

Most Wire knitted uses a smaller gauge wire than I do. I don't not feel that the smaller gauges gives enough stitch definition. So I use the heavier gauge wire. I recommend using metal needles and beads that are 1/2 inch or smaller. Any larger and you need up with a cuff more than a bracelet. This pattern is uber-simple. The only catch is... it is hard on you needle and hands. But the end result is worth it. Should you decide that it is not worth it, You can find them for sale on my Esty shop. To those of you who play fair about other people's designs. Thank you for your patience while I decided how to proceed.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Fight or Flight?

Last night, himself scared me and I decked him. Now he thinks this is a serious overreaction to being spooked. Rrrriiight. So The 'Bum and I had a discussion about the fight or flight instinct.

Once in high school, which has been cougha bitcough, I went to one of the big haunted houses here in KCMO. I don't really remember which but I believe it was one of these. Anyhoo. I went with my big, strong, current boy-toy and some friends.

I was asked to leave. Actually I was kicked out. The very first time someone jumped out at me and surprised me...I hit them. I felt really bad about, but it was something I really couldn't control. When I realized what I was doing I tried to pull it. So I am pretty sure in most situations I would be a fight person. A least as sure as I can be with actually being in a bad situation.

Now, 'Bum, he has neither fight nor flight. In fact he doesn't really spook. He just stands there. No reaction whatsoever. I tease him that when Godzilla attacks Missouri, he is dead meat. Everybody else will run away, while he just stands there waiting to be squished. Being the kind and loving wifey that I am, I have promised to defend him should this ever occur. Snicker.

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Last Knit

Alright all you yarn-olics out there. Here is your public service announcment. The YouTube film on the top could be you! Beware! Seriously the funniest G-rated thing I have seen in awhile.

Meanwhile back at the Ponderosa...Everthing around here is reasonably okay. Something are much better. 'Bum is more comfortable in his skin. His is better with the decisions he has made recently. In all he is good. Mini-me is doing great at school and is really interested in reading this year! Yippee!

I am continuing to try to curb the rampant cussing coming out of my mouth. I am still sober. Which some of you may know was alittle touch and go last month. I have a new exciting tick from all the stress in the house. Get this. Everytime I leave the house...I get a migraine. Which I then have for the rest of the day. What fun, huh? I am not sure what is the problem. Maybe it is 'cause 'bum poked the crazy and I am just waiting for the retaliation? Expecting WWIII? MMMM...That is a thought. Anyway the current keep-Celia-from-the-Hug-me-tight-coat meds are not working. So it is back to the Doctor's for me. Sigh. So that's the latest and greatest. Feel free to voice opinion on this subject.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Ravelympics 2008-Final!

I did it! I finished all 3 events! Rubbernecker Gold for me! I enjoyed the whole Ravelery event! I can't wait until the 2010 Winter Ravelympics!
The 1st event was the Hat Dash. My submission was the Hannah Hat. I made it out of Patons Shetland Chunky yarn in the blue jean colorway. I loved the pattern. It worked up super fast. The whole hat took my less than one evening. I love the yarn. I will work with it a again. Mini-me loved the finished project. In fact the Knit group I go to on Saturdays loved the hat. It fits a wide range of heads. In all a great project! Two thumbs way up!
Next Ravelympic event Homestuff Hammerthrow. This one did not go so well. I made knitted dish scrubbies out of tulle and Sugar & Cream yarn in the breeze coloway. I had thought these would be a fairly simple project. Quick and easy. My needles constantly were getting caught in the tulle. It was a mess. The only good thing I can say about this project is that me hands were really soft and smooth when I finished. These 4 lil' things took my 3 days. UGH! So my review is 2 thumbs way down.
Last but not least is my Sock Put entry. I made ZigZag Lace Pedi Socks out of Berroco Comfort DK yarn. I broadened my knitting mojo with this event. I had never done a long tail cast on. I have now. I do not like the heel flap for turning heels. but I did that too. This pattern is a really well written easy pattern to follow. I was not happy with the yarn. It kept splitting on me. It is however machine washable and super soft to the touch. But I doubt that I buy any more. So this project has mixed reviews. 1 thumb up (for the pattern) and 1 thumb down (for the yarn).

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It'll be a cold day in hell...

I had a bad day this week. A really bad day. I am an addict. See... I keep thinking it’s was an addict. And then the NEED rears its head and the desire comes back. And I am a mess. The same mess I was when I decided to sober up. Here is the exciting part. I was an addict my junior-senior year in high school. It will be 14 years this year since I stopped. I forget between the times I have an attack (?) how bad they are. I forget that they even happen. My daughter’s god-mother tells me they happen about once or twice a year.I thought I would share my experience of alcohol with you. First you should know my family has a long history of drinking. Though none of them ever have called themselves an alcoholic. And in fact some of them still believe I am over dramatic about it. I was never that bad.  Here is how bad it didn’t get. I was a fairly good student in high school. Pretty high marks. I was going to go to an art college. I lettered in speech and debate. Then I started drinking. At first it was very casual. Just a beer (or 5) at a party. People were always so admiring of the amount of liquor I could put away. So I started drinking more and harder alcohol. One of the nights I can remember I had drunk; 12 Jack Daniels’ Down Punch thingies, 4 big 32 oz glasses of rum w/ a little coca cola for color, and one of the big bottles of Mad Dog 20/20. After all that I could still walk. I was about 140 lbs.  My school tried to intervene, I quit going. My boyfriend, who I was 'promised' to at that time started to catch on, I broke up with him out of the blue. My family tried, but I moved out. I refused to be helped. I was having fun.People say you spiral like water down a bath tub drain. But I never knew I was. I was partying and having sex. People liked me. It was a great time. I started blacking out waking up next to guys I wouldn’t even talk to sober. But some greater power was guarding me ‘cause I managed to only get a knocked up and a case of crabs. Yes, one of these great winners got me knocked up.  However, the little pink line on the pee stick probably saved my life. Screw up myself? Sure. Why not? It’s my life. Screw up someone else? Not gonna do it. So I sobered up. I didn’t go to meetings. I didn’t go to rehab. I read everything I could find about addiction. This is NOT the way I would advise anyone to go about this. I made it way too hard on myself I should have gotten someone to help me. Please DO NOT THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA!.So becoming sober sounds fairly cut and dry. You stop putting the poison in your body. You go through detox and find your triggers so you don’t slip. The thing I could never find anyone saying was how loud everything becomes. How bright. How hard and sharp all the edges of the world are. See the numbness is soft and seductive. It makes everything funny and easy.  This week I was in pain, I wanted a drink so bad. It hurt to be sober. I ached for the numbness and the time way from reality. I wept I wanted it so bad. It was the 1st time in 14 years that it was that bad. I felt like such a loser for not being able to put this behind me. I know I am not a loser I am a strong person. But the addiction was thinking not me. One drink would take the edge off the pain. One drink won’t get me going again. This time I reached out. Told people what was happening. And while I struggled, I had people telling me I could beat it. And then another attack faded away.And I began to remember that it is like being allergic to something you crave. You know you shouldn't eat it. You know it will make you very sick and maybe this time even kill you. But it tastes so good.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Ravelympics 2008-Update

Well, My Stats for the Ravelympics are mixed. My Hannah Hat is done! Yippee! It took me just a few hours. I love the results. All in all completely enjoyable. Hat Dash '08 Gold!And then I moved on to my next event the Homestuff Hammer Throw. Not going well. It was supposedly an easy project. It looked easy. Little square scrubbies made of tulle and worsted weight cotton on Size US 10. I thought I could get 4 in before I moved on to the sock put. Ever try to knit tulle? It's hard. Really hard. You needles get stuck in the tulle. The tulle scrapes your hands enough that your hands start to hurt. I however was determined.  I will get these made. This project will not break me.  Now I have run out of the (insert really bad words that I am trying to stop saying here)tulle that I loathe working with!!! Sigh.  So today I am off to buy more tulle.  Ever have a cursed project?  

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Hermit?

I have come to the conclusion that I am slowly turning in to a hermit. It is very slowly mind you. But still it is happening. I don't like people as a whole. One at a time or even in small groups, they are ok. The entire population of the world not so much. Also my circle of friends seems to be getting smaller. There are alot of people I talk to but not very many I am 'friends' with. My world is shinking to the computer, Xbox and TV. So very not good.I have been recently inspired by the "Raverly Rubbernecker Quitsters". They are supporting each other as they try to quit smoking. Which numerous study have liken to a heroin addiction. Heavy stuff right? So I decided if they can get rid of their collective monkeys, I can totally try to be more social. That doesn't really sound like they are on the same level, but for me they are. I would rather do just about anything than open myself up to another person.I feel (and I think a lot of people feel this way) that if I open myself up people won't like me for who I am. That I'll be shunned. Or even worse ridiculed. What I have trouble understanding is the need to tear each other a part. Why do we assume other person is out to get us? Or even meant what they said harshly? Some where on this road trip somebody forgot to put the benefit-of-the-doubt bag in the car. Now we are out here with out it and all the stores seem to be sold out.So here are my goals:~ I will clean up my nasty sailor's mouth. I will do this by popping a rubberband on my wrist everytime I catch myself cursing. BTW I already have a welt. Grr!~ I will also try to strike the fine line between open and TMI.~ I will endevor to be more cheerful. Less the world is going to hell(pop! OW!) in a hand basket and more What a wonderful world! Here's hoping!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Ravelympics 2008

Ok. I may have lost my mind. I have agreed to finish not 1, not 2 but 3 projects during the 2008 Ravelympics. I am excited and a little nervous this is the first time I have done something on such a short time frame. So this could be fun.As to what is going on in my life. As always it is very hectic. Things are very random. So nothing new.I have just about finished my mama-san's vest It has turned out beautiful. I am hoping to get my miser's purse done before the opening of the ravelympics. So cross your fingers.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

What a Day!

Ever have one of those days that can't end soon enough? Today is one of those. My type-A, little amazon decided to stage a coup and The Crazy came for a visit.

Now the amazon princess has spent the whole day trying to take over. Just pushing. 'I know you said this mom but do you still mean it? YES I still mean it quit asking! Why are you yelling at me?' bah...she makes me crazy. The mother's curse comes home to roost. But I remained in power. Mwahhha!

Then The Crazy starts in.

When people are trying to help you out of a situation, maybe you should tell them the truth. My family started a charity. We let people work of their court-order community service hours with us, all we ask is that you tell the truth. We had this person working up there that lied to use about why they were there.

When we made a report the their PO, we mentioned some things that while not good were not big deals. Except that this person didn't tell us that they had a DUI and no driver's license. So it became a big deal.

Now they are harassing my mama-san. 20 some odd calls in less than 3 hrs. I finally answered their call.

(I should take a moment to tell you, dear readers, that I have a pretty bitchy streak. I call it the crazy hillbilly. I try to keep her locked-up. She is just not good to be out around people.)

So Crazy and me 'talked'. (I use talked loosely here, because the conversation went downhill fast.) How upset can you be if you have made some pretty stupid moves and then you get busted for them? I mean honestly. It isn't mine or mama-san's fault you are in this position. You did it all by youself.

SO this day was not one of my most shinning moments. And I just can't wait for it to be over...

Monday, June 23, 2008

NEW Day

Yipee! I am a blogging woman now. Watch out! I plan on using this blog to share patterns that I've have created. I also plan to free up so valuable brain space by unloading some musing on daily events.