Thursday, September 10, 2009

Where'd She Go?

Yesterday, we took Aughra from the Loony Tunes Ranch to the Nursing Home. She was raring to go until we got outside the locked doors of her unit. The closer we got to the front doors of the hospital the more anxious she became.

Sitting outside waiting for Mama-san to bring up the van. She commented how different everything seemed. I think she is being to understand how bad off she is. She asked Mama-san how long she had been in the hospital. 10 days. It seemed so much longer to her.

Aughra said something, during the transfer process, that struck me. She was looking in the mirror at herself and said, "It looks like whoever was there has left." I replied that maybe she had. Her next question was, "Why?" I told her "Maybe it just got too hard." And Aughra being Aughra said, "Coward." [Picture: Aughra at age 18, pregnant with her 1st child]

I got to thinking about that conversation. I believe we all have that moment when we look in the mirror and wonder where we went to. You know that moment when you remember your teenage plans. Stardom. World Domination. White picket fences. Whatever your particular plans were. Why did those idealists leave? Did we all grow-up? Or did life just wear us down? When did we change our goals from the sky? To a easily attainable goal a little closer to the ground?


  1. I don't know what destroys our childhood sparkle. I wish I did, because if I could figure it out, I'd do whatever I could to reverse it in me and make sure it never happened to my own girls.

  2. I am so sorry. WIsh I could help

  3. A very insightful and moving post. Sad. Sorry you are going through this. (hug) chelle